Today we bring you yesterday’s news from Japan and Asia.

For these Uniqlo pants, Mr. Sato refuses to be bound by traditional fashion concepts.

In the past few decades, there have not been any major innovations related to pants. Wouldn't you be troubled? It's just "stick to the right leg, stick to the left leg, and pull them somewhere near the waist", day after day. Where is the fun in this?

what is that? You have never encountered this problem, because it is just the basic concept of "wearing pants", and you are not a lunatic? So, not surprisingly, our excellent reporter Mr. Sato was very disappointed that the pants he wore had become so old, so he was ready to change things... to the neck.

On a recent afternoon, Mr. Sato brought Sanjo Uniqlo’s Ultra Stretch Active Jogger Pants and a bold new fashion idea to the office, which he called kubipan.

"Kubipan" comes from Japanese "kubi" (neck) and English "pants". This is Mr. Sato's vision to let everyone wear pants that reach the neck.

Unfortunately, Mr. Sato’s ideas are so far in the forefront of fashion that the consumer market has not caught up with his genius. Even if it is oversized, Uniqlo's Ultra Stretch pants can only extend to his abdomen.

Or they? Mr. Sato, with the help of other reporters/lunatic cases PK Santoshi and Hatori, let each of them grab one side of the belt...

We really had to give it to Uniqlo, because when we asked it to do something that it was definitely not designed for, the stitching of this pair of pants was very firm. Unfortunately, the quality of the stitching meant that the central seam just went into Mr. Sato's hip crack.

He is an eloquent word maker, and he described this feeling like this:

"My ass! My ass! My ass!"

▼ The real Shakespeare of our generation

But pushing the boundaries of art is always a painful process. Mr. Sato’s pain gave birth to kubipan.

However, it was a noisy delivery, all "My Ass!" screamed. In fact, the commotion caused a complaint from the reporter Seiji Nakazawa, who asked, "What are you shouting?"

Mr. Sato did not try to explain the subtle nuances of this new fashion in words, but thinks that Seiji also needs to start with the kubipan style.

Seiji proved to be a born genius student. Without any guidance from Mr. Sato, he would also shout out the words that came out of a person's mouth at the moment he was infused with kubipan spirit.

▼"My ass! My ass! My ass, my ass!"

Only a pair of super stretch pants remained, but strangely, everyone else seemed to mysteriously disappear from the office.

While waiting for the last volunteer/victim to appear, Mr. Sato and Seiji relaxed and reflected on their kubipan experience so far.

▼ "Uuuuu...that may be the most painful thing I have ever done in my life."

▼"I...I think my ass may be dead..."

It didn't take long for Ahiru Neko to walk into the office and was forced to do a fashion experiment with pull-ups.

▼"My ass! My ass! My ass!"

But hey, we now have three kubipan brothers!

At this time, Mr. Sato remembered that these pants are called Ultra Stretch Active Jogger Pants. He wasn't sure if it would be illegal to just sit in the office and be lazy, but he didn't want to take a risk. A walk to Starbucks should be active enough, he decided, so he led the way out and walked to the streets of Tokyo.

Stepping into the fresh autumn air, Mr. Sato knows that they are at the forefront of autumn fashion. Yes, it’s difficult to walk. Every step they try to take seems to only stretch the seam between their hips further, but Mr. Sato assured his staff that it’s a little uncomfortable in order to look so good. is worth it.

Sure enough, they were walking on the street, and no one said a word to them, proving that passers-by were so cool and speechless to them.

▼ Of course, it's not just that people are afraid to talk to them or acknowledge them in any way, right?

During the walk, Mr. Sato had to admit that, surprisingly, this style has some shortcomings. Since you can't walk fast in kubipan, you must be extra careful when crossing busy intersections.

Even if the walking sign lights up when you are approaching the crosswalk, it is best to wait for it to become non-walking before returning to walk so that you have the most time to walk to the other side.

▼ Yes, the koban (police station) in the background is where we were almost arrested on another day due to an unusual sense of fashion.

The three of them walked as fast as possible, crossing the street, and finally reached Starbucks!

"We did it! Well, let's go in for a cup of coffee." Mr. Sato said.

Except... how can they "catch" anything?

Remember, kubipan means "high-necked pants", so in order to truly show the kubipan style, you must pull the belt to your shoulders. This means your hands are inside, so Mr. Sato and his disciples have no way to hold their cups or drink their coffee.

So in the end, they returned to the office thirsty.

In the final analysis, kubipan is definitely a style in which form is greater than function. In this style, you must accept compromises to your mobility, use of hands, and cracks in your hips. This is not a daily outfit, but when you want to make a statement...

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